Gratitude

The days leading up to Thanksgiving is Gratitude week.  Go to meetings and express what you are grateful for.  I’ve been hard pressed to think of anything now.  The past weeks have been a shock and have led to Exit Plan 101.

But as I ate today, in peace and solitude, which I prefer, it occurred to me I must do a Gratitude list.  When we are most hurt, we need to do an inventory of our life to put things in perspective.  And to sort things that otherwise might take up space in our heads, settle in, start to reproduce and plan for retirement.  Somethings might not sound like the belong on the list but they do.

Today I am grateful for, my friends.  Those who support me.  Those in the same boat as I am or not who are just as worried about my rights as I am.  Those are people who care.  No, I’m sorry I can’t include family but, today, I understand that and it is okay.  Circumstances of birth do not a family make.  And in some families, it’s simply a group of people hanging together as the ship goes down.  And today I am grateful I understand that and understand that I don’t actually need them to be who I am.  I am who I am without them.  Pain is optional.  Regret is optional.  And today I am grateful I can choose buying into or not buying into what society seems to think you should feel for family.

Today I am grateful for my other half who is still part of my soul.  Gordon gave me so very much.  He helped blast away the last of “You are what your parents made you, if you stay that way, it’s your own damn fault.”

Today I am grateful that my fear isn’t the fear that created this situation.  Today I am grateful for every professor I had who taught me how to think, not to react mindlessly.  I am grateful for the lessons such as “Just because you believe it, doesn’t mean it’s true.”.  They were worth more than their weight in gold.

Today I am grateful for my anger because anger should be directed at those who hurt others or do harm and mine is.  Today I am grateful for the principles that make me up.  Without them, I would be an angry, short-sighted little fool lashing out at anything when I am the problem.

Today I am grateful I have the Exit Plan.  Today, I am grateful that Standing Stone is coming out Dec 7th.  [Well not so much… Scared to death is more like it.].  Today, I am grateful for Rotty, my betas and Lisa Oliver who made this possible.  Today I am grateful that I am able to work on my next book, Confounded.

Today I am grateful.  Ain’t that a bitch? I can’t even moan about anything now.  There has been a lot to be grateful for this year and this lifetime.  And that’s why Gratitude meetings work.  They put perspective on everything.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. I am waiting for standing stone. I will buy it. And I will wait for confounded. That I will buy too. Thank you Phil for all of your wisdom. It really means alot.

    1. Well, the preorder should be up this week for the Dec 15th release. Fingers crossed for no last minute snafus like the one last night were I discovered the only browser I can log on to KDP on is Vivaldi. Took about an hour to get on to put up the draft.

Comments are closed.