Honesty is such a lonely word

Truth or Dare
Is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy?

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you.
—-Billy Joel

Honesty always is correct.  It saves you having to remember which lie you told to who and unless you are a full-blown pathological liar, most of us can’t juggle like that.  That being said, you shouldn’t always be honest because those who ask for it don’t really want it most of the time.  Honesty is a booby-trap.

That’s the catch in Honesty is the best policy.  People usually don’t want an honest opinion, they usually want to hear what they think or feel about something confirmed.   I can give countless examples from “Do I look good in this?”  [See Say Yes to the Dress for countless examples of idiot brides who want their friends and family to love what they love.  Someone needs to slap the silly bitch and say “Get what YOU love.  It’s your damn day.  You please yourself.  They don’t count.  Grow a freakin’ spine, woman.” ]   to “I did that all myself.  What do you think?” [I think that is ugliest piece of shit ever created and you should stick to your day job.]

They don’t even want to hear honesty when it will save them trouble down the road.  “You like my new boyfriend don’t you?”  No.  He’s a lying sack of shite but you are going to ignore me anyway because you want him to be what you want not what he is.  Sometimes you just have to let them get kicked in the teeth because they are going to get kicked in the teeth no matter what you say to them.

Honesty would save a lot of grief.  It would stop Brides from looking like an over stuffed pillow turned into a slut overstuffed pillow on their wedding day.  As for creating it themselves… well hell… we all deserve to create shit if we want it, we should just NEVER publish it on Amazon.    And getting kicked in the teeth.. well.. sometimes they want kicked in the teeth and you can’t stop it no matter what you try.

And the whole thing can damn well explode in your face if you are honest.   And just ask for it?  They operate in the same principles as I just told you were problems with honesty.  They are afraid you can’t or don’t want to really hear it.

Honesty itself isn’t the problem.

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” –Pogo. 

It is us.  Our delicate fragile little egos based on fear of everything from not being good enough to being abandoned to…  hell you name the neurosis and we have it.  We can’t stand honesty.  The why is very simple.  We don’t like ourselves well enough to stand honesty.  It scares the hell out of us.  We are afraid we are what we really think we are.   And what we think of our self is not much.  Hell, some of us never met the person.  We are too scared to get in touch with that part of us.  Our basic core being.   I won’t even go into why.  But all that makes honesty impossible.  So we lie.  We lie to others.  Most of all we lie to our self.  Constantly.  The only way through that is to stop lying.  First to yourself.  Then you work on others.  And no.  It won’t be loved when you are honest but it takes being honest to start fixing stuff.  Otherwise, you get the life you got and you never know when you are going to lose it because you are lying.

 

If you search for tenderness
It isn’t hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give

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