Tell us about times in which you linger — when you don’t want an event, or a day to end. What is it you love about these times? Why do you wish you could linger forever?
You know, that’s the one thing AA stresses to you when times are bad. This too shall pass. What they don’t stress is the good times will also change. They don’t last. Nothing lasts forever.
That’s a bit hard for us to take. Us humans and humans we are, like it or not. We want those times to last. We want to feel good forever. We don’t want pain or sorrow or any of the other crap. We want the eternal high.
Wanting to linger isn’t exactly a bad thing but it becomes one when you don’t understand you have to let go. Some seek that eternal feel good in harmful ways that eventually become coping mechanisms which pretty much just make the situation worse and make them want to hide more in that always feel good. Then it fails to make them feel good and shit hits the fan.
Those coping things include: drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships, religion and anything else you can use to make yourself feel better without coping with what is really wrong. Yep, I said coping. Facing what is wrong face on. Looking at it without any rosy-colored glasses created by any bloody thing under the sun. Start bright light of day looks. This is what it is. This is how I feel about it. This is. That simple and that hard. This is how it is. We really hate doing that and it takes practice. AA and other programs like it have it easier because they give you a direct set of steps to fix what is wrong. And it does a pretty good patch job if you use it right. But you can never take back what is done.
“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”
Nope sorry. Once done it is always done. You would think with that thought, we would do a hell of a lot more thinking about what we say and what we do but we don’t.
Life is. That simple. It never lingers. And we don’t know what is to come. We can take guesses. Educated or not, they are just guesses and all is equal. The defining factor is simply, how bad do you want to suffer in the here and now when you have options. At the end of it all there is once simple option, we can choose how we feel about something by how we look at it. If a guy is holding a gun to your head and you know you are about to die, there is no way out for you, you have a choice. You can cry hysterically or you can look at the bastard and say “Pull the damn trigger.” You can stand there and die in the explosion of a grenade or you can save your friends because you can’t save yourself. It’s a split second. And it’s a choice. Sometimes a brave heroic choice but it is always your choice.
We are what we are. Nothing lingers. But today, we can choose who we are to be and to treasure those times that don’t linger when we wish they could. It adds value when you don’t look at it as “I wish this day would never end.”. The value is simply this, This too shall pass and I shall treasure and be here now in every second and moment of this. I shall revel in this. I shall wallow in the joy and completeness of this moment in time.
For it shall never linger and just for today, that is okay.