Degrees of suckiness.

How is this year shaping up so far?

Well, what I can tell you is this lifetime just plain sucks.  I’m sure I’ve had sucky lifetimes before but this one is quite novel in the amount of sheer suckiness.   I won’t be hurrying back to this little planet any time soon.   I don’t care how fond the other half is of it.

This year has been simply spinning my wheels.  Part of it is my fault but a great majority of it, thank you Lupus, is not my fault.  I’m just damn well tired of the whole song and dance.   Maybe my attitude this week is because I am just coming out of a lupus flare.  I’ve still got a lot of pain.  It is the main reason I haven’t been blogging.  Not the pain, the Lupus Flare, which comes with all sorts of goodies including feeling exhausted most of the time.   This week, I’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual.  I was taking 3 classes thanks to the RWA.  Two from San Diego chapter and one from the Kiss of Death Chapter.  One has finished but at least I have the text from it but I am so far behind in the other two, I’m not going to be able to catch up because a fourth I am taking this month started.  It’s on Revision.  It’s been a bad week.

I’m breaking it down into tasks.  Take the garbage out is one for today and water the birds [I have two cockatiels and a fancy pigeon].  It seems like this is going to be what the entire year is or will be.  Break it down into tasks.

Next task will be to fill up the containers I am going to put my plants in.  Not as fast as I like but it works.  My tomatoes and peppers grew very nicely and my lettuce is up.  I have a nice large container for some of the lettuce so I am looking forward to that.

I am depressed.  I hate having to break it down like this but until the flare is done, this is what I have to do.  And this is the third or fourth flare this year.  It’s looking like a very bad year.

So how is this year?  IT SUCKS.  How is this lifetime?  It sucks.   Remind me next lifetime to live fast, die young and go out in a blaze of glory.  Getting old is for the birds.



10 thoughts on “Degrees of suckiness.

  1. Phil, I’m not working with lupus, and I’m sorry that you are. I have, however, been experiencing the breakdown of my spinal column, especially lumbar, and I do understand your frustration. Pain is exhausting. You don’t know that until you’re experiencing it All. The. Time. l never thought I would be thankful for just one pain-free moment! Well, it is what it is, and I’m not as limited as you or many others who are dealing with worse things. Just wanted you to know I get it.

    1. I can add a spinal problem into the other so if the lupus is good, the spine flares and if the spine flares, the lupus is good.. Pure hell is when they both decide to act up at the same time. I think I can count on 3 good days a year and I’m starting to worry that isn’t even going to happen any more. It’s a Catch 22 situation. If I go to bed with the Lupus because I want to sleep until the worst is over [and since I am tired, that part is easy] the back decides after X number of hours in bed, I need to get up because one position [lying, sitting] makes the back act up. Standing for long enough to cut a bell pepper doesn’t work and walking is not a good thing anymore. I keep saying I should have let the inmates escape. Next time I live fast, die young in a blaze of glory.

      1. Wow.I really am sorry. Wish I could fix it all 🙂 But I can pray for you, and I will, that you will experience some relief.

    1. Yeah, I could beat out any number of other hands. I know there are those who could beat me but shit… I would rather not be in the game at all.

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