The House on the Cliff with a Blue Barracuda in the Swimming Pool

I’m not even sure where I heard this. I know in high school but who or where, I have no clue.

Once upon a time, there was a very rich, talented, successful, handsome man who lived on the top of a Cliff and he had a Blue Barracuda in the swimming pool. One day he was staring out the window watching the blue barracuda swimming around the pool when he realized that there had to be more to life than this. He decided to get married.

He looked the whole world over and found a beautiful talented artist who was also a concert pianist. After courting her for many months, he asked her to marry him. When she said yes, he said to her, “There is only one thing I ask you to do. Please do not ask me why we are living on a house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool.”

She replied, “Of course not, darling” And so they were married.

After a fabulous honeymoon, they settled into the house on the cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool. Six months went by and she sat by the pool with her paints but not painting. She stared at the blue barracuda in the swimming pool then out over the cliff. Every day for a week she sat there staring at them. When she realized she could not longer paint, she marched into her husband’s den and demanded, “Why are we living in a house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

He lost control and beat her over the head. When she was dead, he threw her body over the cliff and told everyone she had ran off with a boyfriend.

Several years went by and he felt lonely again. Deciding to try marriage again, he search until he found a lovely astrophysicist who wrote best selling novels on the side for a hobby. He courted her and when he proposed he said, “My darling, I want you to marry me but I must ask one thing from you, never ask me why we are living in a house on the top of the cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool.”

She replied, “Is that all you wish of me, of course I won’t, my darling and yes, I will marry you.”

The honeymoon was even more fabulous than the first and they moved into the house on the cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool. And they were happy for 10 years until one day, she wondered why they still had the blue barracuda in the swimming pool. Another 6 years passed and it was still there. After a wonderful anniversary supper to celebrate being married for 16 years, she leaned her head on her husband’s shoulder and asked, “Why are we living in a house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?” before she could get out and why is that fish still alive, he began to beat her over the head with a statue. He killed her and threw her over the cliff. He told everyone she left him. Since no one could prove otherwise, he got away with this murder also.

After 20 years, he decided to try marriage yet again. He found the dumbest woman he could find. She worked flipping burgers at McDonald’s. She was no prize in the look department either. When he asked her to marry him and not ask about the house on the cliff with the blue barracuda in the swimming pool, she said, “Okay.” They married and by this time, he was sick of fabulous honeymoons so they went to the Jersey Shore for the weekend and moved into the house on the cliff with the blue barracuda in the swimming pool.

Twenty years passed. The house was still on the cliff and the blue barracuda still swam in the pool. After supper one night while they were watching her favorite game show while she painted her toenails pink and green and put little decals on it, he asked her, “Why didn’t you ask me why we live in the house on the cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

She replied, “You said not to, dear.”

They went back to watching the show. A couple days later, it started to bug him while they were watching her game show. “Don’t you want to know why we live in the house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

“You said not to. Now shut up so I can hear his answers.” She handed him the popcorn.

A week later, she still hadn’t asked him. Before they sat down in front of the TV, he said, “Are you SURE you don’t want to know why we live in the house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

“Yes.”

He asked her again when the show started, again in the middle and at the end he demanded, “Don’t you want me to tell you why we live in the house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool.”

“Fine!” She had enough. “Why do we live in the house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

He beat her over the head until she was dead but this time when he went to throw her body over the cliff, the gardener saw him and called the cops.

Of course the arrested him. The detective asked him, “Did you kill the others?”

“Yes, I did.” Was his answer.

“Why?” The other detective asked him.

“Because I told them never to ask me why we are living in a house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool.” He said as they cuffed him.

The detectives loaded him into the car and started down the winding road at the side of the cliff. The detective who asked him why, turned as his partner drove and asked “So why do you live in a house on a cliff with a blue barracuda in the swimming pool?”

The man went wild and started to beat him and the other detective over the head. The detective driving lost control and they drove off the cliff and you know what?

To this day no one knows why the man lived in a house on the cliff with a blue barracuda in his swimming pool.

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