The Moving Finger writes

Set It To Rights.

Think of a time you let something slide, only for it to eat away at you later. Tell us how you’d fix it today.

That’s going to be hard to do.  I don’t let anything important enough to eat away at me later slide.   The reason is simple.  As one of my former patients said “Tomorrow is promised to no man.”  you either do it today or you let it go.  There is no in between.   Letting something eat at you is a sure way to take another drink if you are an alcoholic.   When something happens, you take care of it there and then.  You do an on the spot inventory and you do what you need to do.  That simple.  And that hard.

The excuses we make when we let something slide are usually flimsy bastards and an attempt to save us grief.   But left, the situation grows and festers until we finally get up enough courage to lance it and let the pus out.  The only problems is, just like real pus, it will eat away at the bone and the very foundation of what was may be damaged, sometime beyond repair.

In 2013, I opened a birthday card from my half brother.  First, it had been 15 years since he talked to me.  He also waited until the other half had died and I owned the house.   He has no clue I have my heir picked already.  But suddenly he sends me a birthday card.  I ripped it to shreds and didn’t think anything more of it.  I got a card at Christmas from him.  I didn’t even open the envelope.  I put Return to Sender Unwanted mail on the outside and sent it back to him.   This year, no card.  Thank God.

The damage has been done.  It was done a long time ago.  I finally let it all out when we were packing up my mother’s stuff after her funeral.  I told him exactly how I felt about how he treated me for years.  His stupid wife, who told me in front of my half sister how much she hated my guts, told him that I was just upset over Mom dying [not bloody likely].   So he ignored what I said about how I felt because I was just upset.   That goes to show you how much the man knows about me because if I am saying something, I mean it.  I wouldn’t waste my breath otherwise.   He always was thick.     And now suddenly 15 years later, he sends me a birthday card.  [It had flowers on it.  For God’s sake. I hate cut flowers and I really hate them on cards]

I reached a resolution when I realized that my neighbors treat me better than he ever did and with more respect.  And he is suppose to be my brother.  I let go of him and I don’t want him back in my life.  The damage is done.  Had we dealt with my feelings when I vented them to him instead of his listening to his nitwit wife, we might have salvaged something but 15 years later considering all the things he stole when Mom died?  He can just bugger off and find someone who cares.  He’s out of siblings when my half sister dies.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”
― Omar Khayyam

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8 thoughts on “The Moving Finger writes

    1. It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn’t the sick one in the family but when everyone else is a bit nuts, you tend to think you are the one who is crazy even if you are the sane one.

    1. I reached a conclusion a long time ago if I wouldn’t be friends with them if they weren’t my family, why should I bother with them if they were?

  1. Amen.
    I have no patience for people who bitch about their family members who they remain in-touch with with the ‘reasoning’, “they’re my family – I don’t have a choice.”
    Yes. You. Do.
    Thank you for sharing

    1. I never understood that. I’ve cited Aunt Edna several times and when I point out they wouldn’t tolerate that from a friend I hear “But that’s Aunt Edna…” Well yeah, it is but there is no reason why we have to tolerate it.

      I taught the kid a long time ago that you have a choice about everything and you live with what you choose. It may be a choice between sucks and suckier [to quote her] but you choose the one that sucks less and that includes family/friend relationships. There is no crime in letting go of those who no longer have a place in your life and that includes family.

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