“I thought we’d never come back from that one.” I really didn’t. I mean how often do you get to face down a stalker and a killer and get to live? It isn’t like I’m a macho cage fighter. If I had been a macho cage fighter, we wouldn’t have been in the damn situation. No, I had to be a cute little elf. Well, I’m not that little. I am 5 ft 6. In my stocking feet. I don’t do heels. That’s just tacky. Not even for pay. Anyway, the damn baking company that claims they have “Elf” Magic Bites had to hire me to be their spokes elf. I have no clue how they got around the trademark and copyright problem but I’m just a cute body to stand there and sell their crap… I mean products. They took one look at my Reddish Blonde hair, green eyes and went haywire with offers. So the next thing I know, I’m in a freakin’ green elf suit selling cookies or Biscuits as they called them. That ain’t no biscuit. That was a cookie. Biscuits are flaky lumps of baked dough. I may not be able to cook but I know the difference.
Oh yeah. Well, the damn products sold. Like hot cakes. I’m lucky they didn’t want me to sell them too. But I shouldn’t complain. I was doing nicely. I got a nice new car, new condo, new everything and considering I started my life being called Faggot in a trailer park? I was doing really well.
I guess I’m a survivor. I mean everything just sort of rolled off me… Well… almost everything. When Mom and Dad realized I was gay, they didn’t throw me out or beat me but they did stop being my parents. My brothers and sisters got the hugs and the cuddles and the support and I got the “did you finish your other homework and do your chores.” I think that’s why I like laps so much. Dennis, Bruce, Will and Joe are all so big and they radiate protection so I go for the lap. No matter what Dennis and Bruce say, I am not part Pomeranian. I just want to feel safe. It’s been a long time since I felt safe and loved. I love Dennis. Bruce, Will and Joe are my friends and they all have saved me. Even if Bruce denies it. That’s the part I thought we would never come back from.
But that’s after. The before was making money, lots of money. I was lucky. Drugs and Drinking didn’t do a thing for me. Neither did sex. Don’t get me wrong I like it but it just wasn’t it. The it for me was proving I was worth more than my parents who still live in that same trailer and go to Church every Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night and think Faggots are an abomination. And I sure was worth more than my brothers who ended up being truck drivers and mechanics or my sisters who ended up in Beauty School and the local Big Box as a clerk. The few times they had to invite me to something all of them suggested I become a clerk at the Big Box because they were okay with hiring my type. Why they had one who worked in Electronics. Right. So that brand new sports car went a long way to saying “Screw you” to them. They all looked like they were eating lemons and pissing bricks when I pulled up. That’s the last time they invited me to anything. I guess they got out of the “Had to”s once my Grandparents died.
The one thing I didn’t count on was getting a stalker. He wanted me dead. He tried. The falling lights on the set. Brakes that didn’t work on the car. I was more upset about wrecking that car. It meant a lot to me. The fire in my condo. Finally one of my bosses hired a PI to keep me safe. He did. Dennis was protective and handsome and warm and funny and… I’m rattling on. Okay so it was lust at first sight and the fact he was gay was wonderful. He had been a Marine before he became a cop and then he became a PI and he was just all man. Now look. I’m not a flamboyant queen but I’ve been accused of being a flake. I don’t flounce but there is no mistaking I’m gay. I don’t have women drooling on me. Dennis had women drooling on him. Anyway, he found out who was doing it and called his friend Bruce who is a cop. Bruce is gay too and you should meet his husband, Ethan. He’s beautiful. I’m pretty but Ethan is beautiful even with that little scar.
Oh right back to the story. Well, the stalker figured out that Dennis had figured it out and the next thing I knew Dennis is unconscious and I’m there with the stalker who has a knife and he’s staring at me saying ‘You have to die. You don’t love me and you have to die.” I’m trying to figure out if I can get to Dennis’ gun and I don’t even know how to shoot the damn thing and he’s coming closer and closer with that strange look in his eyes. I couldn’t leave Dennis.Then the door hit the wall as it was kicked open and there stood Bruce with his gun drawn and he told him to put the knife down. I was laying on top of Dennis trying to protect him and get to the gun and when I saw the knife go down, I just started to shake and sob. I held him until the ambulance arrived and I made them put us both in the same one. Bruce made them take me. He’s my hero. I really didn’t think we were getting out of that one.