It’s different.

When was the last time you shed tears of joy? Never? I have never cried from Joy. Relief, yes. Sorrow, yes. Anger, yes. Happiness, no. Joy, no. It’s a bit of a foreign concept for me. I have seen people do it but I honestly don’t understand it nor do I do it.

Looking it up on the net I ran into this:
Here’s the thing: my teeny-tiny almond-sized hypothalamus can’t tell the difference between me being happy or sad or overwhelmed or stressed. Yours can’t tell the difference, either. All it knows is that it’s getting a strong neural signal from the amygdala, which registers our emotional reactions, and that it must, in turn, activate the autonomic nervous system.

If that’s the case, mine apparently can tell the difference because I haven’t cried from Joy or Happiness.  I do a good job of identifying my emotions so that might also be part of it.  I won’t say it is gender differences.  I think it might be occupational differences.  Working with the criminally insane and in acute psych, I have more control of my emotions than many.  You cannot afford to react to something a patient does.  You must act.  The patient isn’t in control so you have to be in control.

I know I react differently than the general population.  I am one of the ones who run toward the burning building instead of away from it.  Do I feel fear?  No.  In the middle of a crisis, it’s like a calm sea and you simply start doing the next thing that needs done.   Am I having emotion while the crisis is going on?  You know… I don’t think I am.  I think I shut everything off so I can do what I need to do.  The time for emotion and the adrenaline shakes is after it’s all over but until the crisis is over? Everything is shut off.

Perhaps the way I am wired is a reason I don’t cry when I’m happy.  I honestly don’t know.   I just know I am wired differently because that’s part of my job or rather was part of my job.

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