Excitement? Video cameras? Cops? Screaming soon to be ex? No? Bother.

Guys?  You really have to stop making me check the dictionary to figure out what you want for the Daily Prompt.

According to the Oxford Dictionary:

noun

1. [mass noun] a feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness
eg: her cheeks were flushed with excitement

2. [count noun] something that arouses a feeling of excitement:
eg: the excitements of the previous night

3. sexual arousal.

Oh can we go with the third?  No?  This is a family site?  But… No?   Well, YOU were the one who brought up excitement and didn’t define it not me.

Don’t try to beg off.  Any adult finding a very appealing member of the sex of their sexual orientation, in their bed even if that member is eating Crackers and Potato Chips is going to become excited hence excitement.  So will their Significant Other if  they are attached in any form.   Then that will lead to a LOT more excitement with the neighbors and video cameras and the cops.

But since you won’t let me talk about that, Lets see…

There was the bat and the fish net… um… No. Not that one one.    Let me think.

How about the one where the bear that was about 600 pounds standing taller than the hood of my Jeep Grand Cherokee who parked himself in the middle of the main road and… No… You want the  LAST thing I got excited about right?

There was Lynton Tapp making it to the finals of Master Chef Australia but that doesn’t count right?  That was more delight.

Oh!  I know!  GW the Possum.  Actually his full name was George Washington Bush Possum.   GW was a master thief in the making.  An opossum can get  large.  George did.  He ended up huge but at this story, he was still a baby.  Just ran off by Mom to fend for himself with his brother’s and sisters.

I noticed my cat was having hysteria at the base of my large black jelly cabinet.  She was reaching under it and fussing.  I could read something rattling something around under there.  The sound of crunching could be heard.  My first thought was it was a mouse.   So I took the broom and helped Miss Min out.  I chased that darn mouse out.

The little thief and half my chestnuts rolled out from under that cabinet.

My heart rate went up.  It’s one thing to see what I thought it was inside a lab.  Out side a lab, you will have a lot of excitement.  These critters are not nice.

My first thought was “Oh my God it is a rat.”

I live in a heavy wooded area with a lot of old farm buildings surrounding us.  There is also a lot of sheds and barns full of animals and their feed.  One thing I can tell you is no matter how clean and careful you are?  You will get a rat at some point.   The occasional rat that does happen is soon to be put to death.  You want to live go back in the woods.

My second thought was “That has to be the ugliest damn rat I have ever seen.”

And considering rats don’t start out pretty, that is saying a lot.

It took a few seconds for me to realize, it was a baby possum just out on its own.  He had found a way to break into my home, invade my chestnut basket and was proceeding to eat my winter supply of chestnuts I was planning to roast for Christmas.

I ran to get the fish net.  I grabbed it and my leather welding gloves that I use for Bat extraction.  By the time I got back down the steps, it was total screaming chaos.

Miss Min had him cornered.   She hadn’t touched him.  She was hopping up and down screaming.  If you think you haven’t heard a cat scream and they can’t?  Think again.  Here is this tiny, cute black cat, hopping in one place, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Possum is tight up against the  wall attempting to wrap his tail around the wood on the wall.  He’s screaming.

GW's Cousin
by Speartoons

Shooing Miss Min back, I got him into the fishing net and go to carry him out the front door.  The possum climbs up the net.  Puts his two front paws on top of the wire rim and rides out the front door like the President of the United States in A Mission Accomplished Parade.  “We have won the War.”

I dumped him in the woods in back of the house and told him to keep moving on.   The reason I didn’t take him five miles away over water was because he was so tiny.  I was afraid if he had to hunt for food sources he would die.

I also named him on the spot.  GW aka George Washington Possum.  And yes, he was named after a President of the United States.  You can see why.

Yes, I did have to extract him one more time.  Yes, he did the same damn thing but the excitement was a lot less for me.  I just said “Oh, damn GW is back.”

I also saw him again about a year later.  I heard a thunk on the back porch.  Something had knocked the planter off the stand my wife had right out side the window.  I opened up the curtain.   It was GW.    Yes, I know possums dress alike but GW had strange Piebald colored ears with a strange pattern.  This possum had the same pattern.

I swear he was communicating the possum equivalent of  “Hello?  Would you like a possum as a pet?  Those chestnuts sure were good.”

My answer?  “No.”   And I pulled the drapes shut.

Ah, and you thought the country was restful didn’t you?

[And yes, Lynton should have won.   What? You don’t think I watch American TV do you?]

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