It ain’t all fun and games, Cowboy.

Imagine my shock when I reached the part of this rough draft where I have to work on scenes.   When I did NaNoWriMo, I wrote the rough candy scenes.  Candy scenes are the ones that tease your mind and are like biting into a Godiva Dark French Vanilla Truffle.  Yeah,  I know I have a fixation on them.   Those scenes are just like that.  They are the parts of the book you really enjoy so much you may go back to reread that scene again.

I googled those truffles.  The third listing down is the calories.  I didn’t look.  They are worth the calories.  Those scenes are worth the reread.

Now I am doing the “other” scenes.  They are not as fast or as fun but after having done the first chapter and 3 new scenes in it, I realized they are just as enjoyable.   It takes longer to write and more concentration but they flesh out the main character and the story in a way the other scenes suggested.  And I am finding out some surprising stuff about the book as I write.

The only thing that might be  is a negative is I have no dead line.  I can write when I feel like it.  That’s pretty much why you have 3 scenes since NaNo.  I can procrastinate all I want.  Right now my procrastination is the fly that is buzzing me like a B-52 on  a run.  If I can get him in the right position?  It will be a squashed B52.  One fly in the house and it likes my ear.  DIE you Winged Satan DIE.   I mean I am googlng Procrastination to procrastinate.  I’m making cupcakes for Pete’s sake.

What came up on Google?  You aren’t interested in making cupcakes which then make you really wish you had some [I’ve got a Hot Chocolate one with Marshmallow Icing Mix I can make up… hum…  No, back to the blog]

I found a whole post on what Famous Writers do to avoid it.  I like Maya Angelou’s bottle of wine.  What?  There was something else on that frame besides Wine?   I think I like Douglas Adams best but who has a publisher or agent yet?  Victor Hugo wrote naked?   That puts new meaning to Les Misérables.     I mean come on.  A Underwear Model he is not.  But this is the age of the Internet.   Half of the people on the other end is stark naked.   The other half is doing something you would never dare do in public or dressed in something that would scare the horses or is currently in a state of what use to be “Hair in curlers and face mask on.” or as one comedian put “The creature from the cold cream Lagoon.”   Hugo would be so unproductive in 2013.

Then I ran into How to Avoid Writing.  I thought I knew how to do that.  Benchley put a whole new spin on it.  I need to dig out my pipes.   It just goes to show, you can always learn no matter how good you are at something.  The one thing that disturbed me was Nordquists assumption that Procrastination was Writer’s Block.  No.  It is not, sir.     Procrastination is the deliberate act of avoiding doing what you know you can do but you just don’t feel like doing.   Writer’s Block is when I stare at a page and it stares back into me.  Sort of like the Abyss  in  “And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” by Nietzsche.   It’s a wonder the page doesn’t run off screaming.

End result?  I feel better about procrastinating.  That was not my intent.

Good Lord there is even a Psychology Today article on how to avoid Writer’s Procrastination.   I like that man.  He calls it as it is.  A good Psychologist or Psychiatrist will do that you know.  Call it like it is.   They won’t hurt your feelings but they won’t let you bullshit yourself too long.  As much as I hate to admit it?  That article actually makes me want to not procrastinate.

The other pages on the subject?  Wonderful way to avoid work.  Heck I was even thinking about doing a blog site on my book to avoid writing it.  I said that when I started this blog.  It was started as an intent to avoid writing.  Notice how well it is doing post wise.  The old you love work when you shouldn’t be doing it might be right.

So how to solve it?

What struck me was  this quote from the Psychology Today article:

William James, the founder of American psychology, once wrote less than he wanted and lamented this situation. Following reading the work of the 19th century French Philosopher, Charles Renouvier, James had an epiphany. Renouvier described free-will, or the power to choose one path when you might have chosen another. James thought he could choose a different way, did so, and got much more self-directed written word done.

It rammed home today it is my choice and  I need to solve it.  I also need to get writing.  Did it solve it?  No.  I still want to go add a level to my cupcake making or maybe I just need to make something to eat because I haven’t had dinner yet.

It isn’t like I don’t have the time.  I’m  single now but old enough to enjoy being single.  I am not involved in a relationship nor am I looking for one.    My house is paid for.  My car is paid for.  I call my own hours basically for what I do for a living.   The rest of the time is mine.  I can easily schedule time to write or simply write when I feel like it.    I am one of those rare people who are very happy being alone.  I can entertain myself endlessly.

The self regulation article on Psychology Today has a lot of ideas and help.  Am I going to read it?  Yes.  Is it going to be procrastination ot read it?  Yes.  However I get the strong feeling the answer is in here.  I have a strong drive to lift weights.  Do I suffer from procrastination when I lift?  Yes.  The key is it is easier to defeat.  I”m not sure why.  I need to look at that.

The one thing I do know is that for me self will and self discipline doesn’t work.  They are foreign characters.  The minute I think I have to do something especially for the rest of my life, I revolt.   I know the reason why.  They aren’t important to anyone else but me.    If you told me I had to lift weights, I would stop.

What does work for me is Just for today I will do this.  I will be here now and not in my head which can be a very scary place let me tell you.  That’s why the page would run off screaming.   I think those sticky notes are what I need to put up.  “Be here now.”    “Just for Today”  “One minute at a time.”    That might work.

I will write for 15 minutes today and if I have problems with that I will write for 10 or even 5 minutes.  I can do 5 minutes if I do it one minute at a time.  It doesn’t have to be in a block of minutes.  I can do one minute here and one minute there.

Hum.. you know?  That might work.  Sometimes I have to reason with the part of me that still hangs on to what it learned to survive when I was a kid.  So let’s see if he thinks 5 minutes today is acceptable.

I’ll let you know.

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